Dealing with a negative partner

October 7, 2007 at 7:29 pm Leave a comment

If you or anyone on your Team is experiencing a significant other that is actively putting them down, please share this article with them.   

For most, their significant other’s lack of support is nothing intentional. They are great people, partners, parents – they just don’t get the business and what an opportunity they have to make a difference. There is hope and many of them do come around sooner or later and get involved. 

Unfortunately, there are some who have partners that are actively negative and detrimental. First and foremost, there is no excuse for any form of abuse. Whether verbal, emotional or physical, it is simply inexcusable.

If you are encountering any form of abuse, you know what you need to do. 

Currently, the #1 reason women give up on their businesses and their dreams is the lack of support from their partner. Many of them choose ‘peace’ at home over a continued barrage of negativity. The long-term impacts of this to the relationship are obvious. 

So, what can you do if your other half is negative? 

It is imperative that YOU believe in you, your dreams, your vision and that you are clear on the success that is yours. When you associate your success to the involvement or actions of an external party, you are abdicating your power and allowing yourself to rise or fall with their mood. 

All relationships require communication. Without communication, we cannot express ourselves and we cannot understand the perspective of others.  Communication must be fulfilling and uplifting. As soon as it gets into negativity, blame, resentment, etc. the focus shifts from what is being said to how it is being said and our defenses take over.  Communication must come from a place of appreciation & acknowledgement. Nobody likes to hear what they are doing ‘wrong’ all the time. It is so much more empowering to come from a place of what is right.  When you do not have clear boundaries around how people talk to you, others may take liberties and speak to you in a manner that is not fulfilling for you.  When communication is possible, convey that you do not appreciate being spoken to a certain way and how it makes you feel. Back that up with what does work for you. It always seemed strange to me that people can be the nastiest with the people that are closest to them. I heard it said once that ‘anger is a form of intimacy’. Obviously not the type of intimacy that we seek in our relationships albeit is true if a person only expresses their anger at home. Although there is no excuse, in most situations the people are not dealing with their anger or frustration effectively and are allowing that to come out in their relationships.  When you establish boundaries around you and how you expect to be interacted with, that can make the other half realize what is going on.  You are obviously not responsible for their frame of mind and it is their responsibility to find alternate ways to deal with whatever is upsetting them.  

If your other half is not willing to communicate, is not willing to deal with their negativity and continues to treat you in an unacceptable way then the ball is in your court. You can continue to allow this person to dump their issues on you and erode your life or you can do what you need to do.  

Always remember that support is all around you. If the partner support is not where you want it to be, there are others around you who care.  

YOU know how great you are.   

Mark Semple CCCwww.successfultogethercoaching.com 

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The Barefoot Executive meets The Deduction Diva International Coach of the Year 2007

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